so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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