Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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