He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
