It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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