is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
