I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
