im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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