By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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