i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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