Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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