He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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