that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
