dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
