Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
