Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
