i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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