Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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