Buhtt sex?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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