haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I wish my penis had an off switch
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
