my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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