it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
