I could make wine with my vomit
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
