Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
