I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
