Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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