Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
