I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize