feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I could fuck to npr.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
