What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
he was CRYING into my vagina
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
