just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize