Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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