Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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