The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
