If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
