She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
false alarm. still invincible.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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