I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
