the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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