Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
