69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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