My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
