why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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