So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
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