I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My life is pants optional.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
