Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
