Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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