why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize