oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize