Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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