so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
