you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
