This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize