My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
