i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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