Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
