so explain again why im purple
no
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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