i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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