if you like me you must not know who I am
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
