I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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