Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
