Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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