White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
