He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
