is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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