You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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