i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
