The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize