Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
